Roger Ebert’s Brutal Takedown of a 1989 Rom-Com Flop
Roger Ebert rarely left films early, but Bruce Beresford’s 1989 rom-com Her Alibi tested his patience to the limit. Ebert’s scathing review called it 'endless, pointless, and ridiculous.'
Most punters have no trouble switching off a film that’s not their cup of tea, but for those who stick it out, there’s a special kind of pain in waiting for the credits to finally roll. Roger Ebert, known for his dedication, almost never walked out on a film. Still, he probably should have made an exception more often. As a critic, he was stuck seeing things through to the bitter end, no matter how much a film grated on him. It took something truly dire to make him wish he’d bailed early, but that’s exactly what happened with Bruce Beresford’s 1989 romantic comedy, Her Alibi.
Enduring the Unbearable
If there’s any silver lining to Ebert’s experience with Her Alibi, it’s that the ordeal only lasted 94 minutes. Assuming he didn’t hang about for the credits, it was just an hour and a half lost. It could have dragged on longer, but that’s hardly a comfort. Ebert summed up his feelings with a dry wit:
You know a movie is in trouble when you start looking at your watch. You know it’s in bad trouble when you start shaking your watch because you think it might have stopped. Her Alibi is a movie in the second category; endless, pointless, and ridiculous, right up to the final shot.
He didn’t stop there, calling the film
desperately bankrupt of imagination and wit.
Box Office Blues and a Surprising Turnaround
Beresford’s first release of 1989 didn’t do him any favours. Her Alibi barely scraped back its budget at the box office, copped a hammering from critics, and even landed Paulina Porizkova a Razzie nomination for Worst Actress. Nine months later, though, Beresford bounced back—sort of. His next film, Driving Miss Daisy, hit cinemas in December and swept up Oscars for Best Picture, Best Actress (Jessica Tandy), Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Makeup, raking in $145 million. Still, many now reckon it’s one of the least deserving Best Picture winners, but at least it was a step up from his earlier misfire.
A Plot That Misses the Mark
Tom Selleck, with his trademark moustache, played mystery writer Philip Blackwood, a bestselling author struggling with writer’s block. Hoping for inspiration, he attends a murder trial and becomes convinced that Porizkova’s character is guilty. In a move that defies logic, he lets her stay at his place, which doesn’t go down well with the KGB. Ebert didn’t hold back, quipping,
If the plot of his novel is half-witted, the plot of the movie is lame-brained.
He had a point. The film veers off into random territory, with scenes like Selleck accidentally shooting himself with an arrow, giving a taste of the kind of humour on offer.
Critical Carnage
Ebert described the film as
filled with groaningly bad moments
and slammed it as
arbitrary and senseless
. He couldn’t have left the cinema fast enough, eager to pen his blistering half-star review. For Ebert, Her Alibi was a low point—one he’d have happily missed if he’d had the choice.